Friday, October 23, 2009

Barack's Missing Executive Experience Found!

For those of you who think Barack Obama would not know a balance sheet from a two-ply sheet, details have finally emerged that Obama does actually have some real life, executive experience. Two children have been found in Indonesia and said to have run a kool aid stand with Obama.

Obama, they said, promised all the residents in the neighborhood a sweet and tart mixture of the most fabulous kool-aid imaginable. He painted glorious pictures of the thirst quenching beverage while reading speeches written by, Andidi, one of the three partners in the stand.

"When it came time to mix up the kool aid, Barack was no where to be found, instead he told us to just take the ingredients from the Wijaya family down the street", claimed the third partner Rahmet.

"It was all ready strange", claimed Andidi, "Barack never actually showed up to his shifts to man the booth but instead was found in the recreation hall dancing and eating Happy-Tos. Sometimes he would be bowling or other times playing basketball."

Rahmet told us the prestige that came with running the stand may have gone to his head. "He asked the art department to design an insignia for him, everytime he spoke he had everything surrounding him emblazoned with this strange logo". "We didn't care about some stupid logo, man, we just wanted him to help us mix up the kool aid".

He seemed to develop and insane obsession with the competing and opposing drink stand the next neighborhood over. He incessantly tried to discredit them and began spreading rumors that the kids who ran the stand peed in the kool aid. Subsequently, he asked everyone in the school to not visit or talk to the kids who ran that drink stand.

"He was always with two other kids, one kid who was a ballet dancer and the other who sported a Hilteresque mustache. When we had any questions, you know, just wanting to know why he wasn't actually showing up or doing any of the work, we were told to take it up with them. That's when I found the dead fish in my bed."

At that point the Andidi and Rahmet just continued to do the work of running the lemonade stand and putting Barack's name on it. By then it was too late. The competing drink stand was growing leaps and bounds. Andidi and Rahmet finally grew tired of Barack's empty rhetoric and joined forces with the other stand.

"It was then that we found him, in the park, standing on a rock giving a speech to about five kids. He was saying "I am not tired, I am just getting started..I'm not tired at all".


  1. I love it. You totally outdid yourself here. Great analogy. One thing I want to know, was it Grape Kool-Aid?

    You know the flavor preferred at Jonestown?

  2. I'll bet that lemonade stand had record deficit spending, too.